My Top 10 Blackouts Around The Globe

spain

Vegas

Last time I experienced Vegas, I ended up at bottle service on stage, getting escorted to my room by security guards, and throwing up into the wee hours of the morning.. and I was there with my parents. My friends keep trying to book a trip, but I am a little nervous where I will end up if I am actually with other people in their 20’s (probably a coffin, or worse, under an alter). I guess it’s only up from here.

Florence

I’m not really sure how Florence made this list, but it did.  Maybe it’s because right before Florence, I was in Venice with no nightlife or maybe it’s because I was just really thirsty, but don’t ask me about the Duomo or Michelangelo’s David because the last time I was in Florence I only saw what the bars looked like.

Munich

Ahh Munich, this one makes sense. Frankly, it’s hard not to black out when people start drinking so early in the day and it’s considered “normal”. Walk into Hofbrauhaus at noon and find hundreds of other people just looking to get just as fucked up as you are. It also helps that the beers are ginormous.

Madrid

Spain, another one of my favorites. I didn’t make it to closing time in Spain the whole time I lived there, I don’t know if there is a closing time. People don’t even go out until midnight, but that doesn’t mean they don’t start drinking early. One time the Spanish woman I was living with was drinking coffee at 8am, and I could smell the vodka in it from across the room. These people are crazy, but crazy is good.

Prague

I love Prague and Prague loves me. The last time I was in Prague, I ate dinner with a Czech family and a Russian family. We drank about five bottles of wine and “x” bottles of Becherovka. My boyfriend at the time fell down a flight of stairs and was bleeding from the face, I threw up, and then we both passed out on a park bench in Prague 5. Do as I say, not as I do.

The Finger Lakes

Wine tasting noun
An event at which people taste and compare a number of wines, i.e. take shots of wine for free or for a really low price while simultaneously trying to put on a sophisticated or classy facade… which eventually will morph into a sloppy hilarious mess of a person who has never had a worse hangover.

Miami

Miami, my newest obsession. Great music, great bars, great clubs, great weather.. I can go on and on about this place. I didn’t do anything particularly crazy here, just grew a new obsession with the Clevelander. My friend however got kicked off the beach (I’ll let you draw your own conclusions) and spent New Years Eve with a well known drug dealer.

NYC

Since New York is so big and there are so many people, you can visit the bar on any day at any time and find other people drinking there too. This turns a drinking problem into a completely normal social habit. Meh, I always say a drinking problem isn’t a drinking problem if you’re  still in your 20’s anyway.

Cancun

Cancun is the father of all blackouts. There is a reason why this place is the #1 place for Spring Break. There’s just absolutely no rules here. They just encourage you to be on your WORST behavior.
Public Nudity: WOO!
Urinating in Public: No Biggy!
Stealing Food: Why Not?
The first night I was in a hot tub on stage, the second day my friend flashed everyone, and the third night my other friend peed on the median in broad daylight and proceeded to wear and steal a Student City Rep’s pants.

NEPA

For some reason, Northeastern PA is the biggest blackout zone for me. Maybe it’s because I’m from here and I feel comfortable enough to drink myself into an oblivion, or maybe its because it’s so boring that the only thing to do is to put yourself into an alcohol induced coma. I still haven’t figured it out. One time I decorated a strangers bathroom entirely with toothpaste. One time I hung out a sun roof covered entirely in mud while only wearing a thong. This place just gets me.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *